Dear Perfect Creator,
As I sit here reading Genesis to the Miles Davis soundtrack I reflect on how I messed up your perfect creation. I guess I got sidetracked with selfish ambitions of pleasing myself in my own ways cuz you didn’t decide that I could have my own way. “How Sway?” when I didn’t create myself. I offered no help when you removed his rib and created what you call a masterpiece; (Ephesians 2:10) I guess you felt like Master P and put no limits on what good and perfect work you would begin in me. (Philippians 1:6) God I played you tho. Your perfect creation was distorted by me. See, I was digesting libations, indulging in fornication, false vibrations, and selfish premmeditations of murdering what was meant to be a dedication to the image of God.I was ashamed because I am the blame and as I call on your name and you answer. Effortlessly you remove the cancer of sin from my body. I sat waiting in the waiting room to see the doctor only to find out that no one was in front of me. You’re always available. Feverishly I run up to you crying tears of overwhelming sadness and pain. Why did I take so long to run to you? For I know that there are no waiting lines for the Doctor of all doctors, the Healer of all healers, the King of all kings, and the Lord of all lords. You held the sword by the blade when I was too weak to pick up the handle. What a Scandal? What a scandal I created when I indulged in what you created to be sacred and used it for my own pleasure. A treasure that I was not supposed to receive. I believed in Holy Matrimony: but not just to a man, yet to spirit. I was deliberate in having my own way. Today I see the chains of suffering that you already beared Lord. What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry that I cared more for my flesh than the spirit you gifted me with. I used to call myself a free spirit, but what’s a free spirit that is spiritlessly roaming the world without the Holy Spirit?! The one true guide that helps us to find our role in the kingdom. Once I took the world’s wedding band off, I realized that it left an ugly green mark. A mark that represented vague disappointment, inauthentic romance, counterfeit gold intentions, and the promise of insecurities. Don’t get me wrong, my heart didn’t lie, but the flesh did. Yo! Where was my head?
As I sit here reading Genesis; reading the commentary from the movie entitled: My Beautiful Creation, I realize that it was your art that I destroyed. How could I? My heart was deceived just like Eve was deceived by Satan. If only she had her head to connect with her heart. Head and heart could have had a conversation like WAIT! Let’s talk about this! Where was my head when heart needed it Adam? See, man and woman. Head and Heart/ Head and Body have a job to do. They must connect and make a balanced decision to serve God. As the church must connect with Jesus in Holy Matrimony to take the world by force like Bonnie and Clyde. As sure as the earth rotates, the angels celebrate when head and heart come together and make a decision. So what will it be? I choose you! I choose you God to make perfect once again a creation that was perfect until the nature of it imperfected itself by rebelling the spirit, the Holy Spirit. So as I walk down the aisle playing vows over in my head. One vow remains true: I will be faithful to only you. Joining in Holy Matrimony with the Holy Spirit is all I have to do to be made perfect and true. This is my apology and dedication to you. I love you, Beloved Father.
Your Beloved Daughter